Trip

Some quick reflections on my buddy Jeff and his wife Lexi flying me up to Gig Harbor, WA to help them move back down to San Diego (actually San Marcos):

*The Friday I was leaving, I finally got off my ass and went to the DMV to get my license reinstated after a DUI nightmare a year-and-a-half ago. I just had to pay a reinstatement fee and all was good.

*I had asked a woman I'd started seeing and thought everything was good if she would give me a ride. She emailed that it sounded like it could be fun and she would call me the next day to confirm the time and everything. This was on a Tuesday. By Friday she hadn't called or emailed and I haven't heard from her since. I suppose she found someone else or something but damn, women are flakey and inconsiderate in SoCal.

*So I got on my flight to Seattle/Tacoma and sat next to a nice couple probably late 20s. We were in the emergency exit row so, after we were just about to take off, the flight attendant tells me my small suitcase doesn't fit far enough under the seat, so it would have to be stowed. Don't know why she didn't notice this earlier, when she would presumably be checking, but OK. So then she stows it for me in an overhead compartment about five rows BACK. So once we landed, I'd be fighting the current of people wanting to exit in order to get my bag. Wouldn't a flight attendant think of this?? I went and moved it to a space ahead of me once we could get up and around, but come on.

*The guy in the window seat said something about shoulder surgery, and he looked to be in good shape, so I wondered to myself if he was a minor league pitcher or something. His wife was next to me in the middle and was attractive and funny, and we all talked very easily about Washington and other things. I was careful not to flirt with her because that wouldn't be cool, and what would be the point, but when we all did the airline mag crossword I made sure I was extra encouraging of the dumb guesses of the husband, just so he wouldn't feel threatened by me and my sexy intellect. We all had a good laugh when the wife mistakenly read the clue, "Shade" as "Shar-day," like you would pronounce the singer, Sade. I had two gins-and-tonic. It's weird how fast that airplane ice melts.

*When I arrived, Jeff called to tell me he'd be late--he often is--so I should get something to eat in the airport. I picked a lounge in my area that advertised gourmet food, which were just a few easy to prepare items. I had a sandwich, caesar salad and a "double" gin-and-tonic, which I was surprised to find was served in a pint glass. That's a lot of booze! Eventually he arrived with his eldest son, Quinlan, a good hour after I touched down. It took a while to get home and for pretty much the whole way Quinlan, who hadn't eaten dinner yet (it was about 9:40 at this point) said he didn't want the Costco pasta and garlic bread waiting at home, so if Dad wouldn't stop somewhere he should just let him out. He continued this nonsense as we drove around Tacoma, where gang members walked around and the local haircut shop was called, "Best Fades"

*As is typical of my friends, though I love them, there was a little more to the job than advertised, so while one 22 ft Budget truck was loaded, only half of the other one was and so we had to put in the mattresses, a couple tables, two TVs, bicycles, fake plants, chairs and a refrigerator. Then we had to drive his car onto the trailer hitch he'd rented and the clearance of the car was so low the trailer damaged his bumper. It took his next door neighbor (who moved every few years, as soon as his engineered bridge project was done and a new one was set to begin) and a lot of effort, and some scrap wood, to get the car on and hooked up. Even so, we didn't read all the directions and didn't also chain the car to the trailer, which fortunately didn't result in a mishap.

*We did have mishaps, though. After getting off to a late start, with me driving a truck with two of his kids and him driving the other with the car and the second-to-youngest (his wife and baby would be flying down a few days later), we drove just to Eugene, Oregon, home of the University of Oregon. In other words, a college town, with lots of hotels and motels suited for parents visiting or delivering kids but not with parking suitable for RVs. Following him into a lot we thought belonged to the Budget Inn next door, we found we were stuck, or at least he was, as he couldn't back the truck up with the car trailer on it. Luckily a Joe Dirt looking local guy (that's what he looked like, but he couldn't have been nicer or more helpful), helped us figure out what to do, which was to back off the car, unhitch the trailer, move everything down the lot and then back the truck into position. We ended up at the Eugene Hilton, which had good parking, about 11:00 or something.

*Actually, I forgot that when we got to town we got some good pizza at a nice outdoor mall and at that time everything seemed great. In fact, we thought our hotel was going to be fine so we got ice cream and beer at the store before we got there, and then had that disastrous delay, which ruined the ice cream, obviously. I noticed from our room that the club across the street had a Girls Gone Wild taping scheduled for my birthday.

*With the delay, there was some pressure to make good time so we would be home by Monday afternoon or early evening. But when you're with kids, you have to factor in extra bathroom breaks, shorter driving, and a later start in the morning. Also, these heavy trucks were very hard to handle on the I-5, which is often bumpy, curvy and at 4 to 5 places has a 5% grade, meaning you really have to lean on your brakes and keep your speed around 45 or you're in danger of tipping over. I was more timid than Jeff in this regard and there were some stretches where he got almost out of my sight, but I was able to catch up on the flats.

*Washington and Oregon are beautiful country, though I can't say I could really appreciate them with the stress of this kind of driving. I was more concerned with the condition of the road. The kids were mostly pretty good, though I was drawn into a discussion with Quinlan about God that I had to be careful about.

*I had brought my iPod but stupidly forgot the cigarette lighter adapter, so it was useless to me as far as listening to tunes over the truck's speakers. The kids borrowed it quite a bit, though, as I had some Oscar-nominated short films on there, so I guess that's not too bad. They played the included cheapo games, as well.

*Our second stop was Willows, CA, as we couldn't quite make it to Redding like we hoped. Part of this was the delay going up Mt. Shasta and across the one-lane bridge. Willows had little going for it except the Black Bear Diner, which was very good once we got our food. Apparently the entire Fire Dept showed up and I guess they get served first. Which is cool, I guess, but when it's 9:30 and you've got little kids, why not get them their orders at least, ya know? I had biscuit battered catfish, which was partly delicious except the thickest part of the filet, where the batter-to-fish distribution was poorest, because it reminded me that catfish isn't really very tasty. I was full, though, and it was late, or we probably would've ordered what looked like some great cobblers. I had my own room this time, at the Budget Inn (I think), and it was a smoking room, so it stunk, but otherwise it was fine. I watched a little of Fletch on F/X before going to sleep.

*The alarm didn't work, so we got up later than we wanted, and then the daughter, Ayrle, threw some fit about having to go in my truck when she wanted to be with her dad this time or something. Great for my ego! We got Starbucks and were on our way.

*Pretty good drive for the most part on the final day, but man it was a long one. It got scary on a section before LA where we had to go on the far right lane, really the shoulder, because we were so slow going up the steep inclines. I guess this is the Grapevine? I dunno; people talk about the Grapevine and I'm not entirely sure where it is, but anyway I lost Jeff here because of the grades and I just couldn't over 55 most of the time without getting freaked out. We hit LA traffic around 6:00 and it wasn't terrible. I found it was best once it cleared to keep in the middle of five lanes and just let people roar past me, rather than getting over more to the right and worry about lanes merging and traffic coming on from ramps. For a while I wasn't sure my lights were working, either. They were, but weren't that strong.

*I forgot to mention we ate lunch earlier at a Pea Soup Andersen's, which is a Dutch looking restaurant that's huge and has a working windmill outside. It's got a gift shop and all kinds of stuff you can buy, be it books for the kids or recipe kits for their famous pea soup (really!). The food was good but there were some flies inside, plus Quinlan kept wanting us to go after lunch to a Jack in the Box for some curly fries, which would've added yet more time on our trip. He and the other kids were appeased with some ice cream treats from the gift shop.

*The Grapevine has some weird truck routes that trucks are supposed to take that lead back to the freeway and help the trucks avoid the high inclines. Essentially you shoot through a couple dark tunnels and use your momentum to get back up the incline one you rejoin the road. Kind of scary.

*Not sure I mentioned the radio, but due to ClearChannel or whoever owned both stations, in two different states and two different stations I heard "Human" by The Human League. This was the first time I ever realized that the guy in the song is apologizing for fucking another girl while he and the woman he's addressing were broken up, and then she apologizes for doing the same. I think I was too young to understand that when I first heard it. The only song I heard multiple times was Gwen Stefani and Akon's "The Sweet Escape," though oddly enough four separate Styx songs came on that day, and they weren't in blocks and they were from 3-4 different stations. "Come Sail Away," "Babe," "The Best of Times," and "Too Much Time On My Hands." That's a lot of bad Styx for one day, though the kids enjoyed me singing along in very bad Dennis De Young form.

*Finally got to town about 9:30 or so, but Jeff wasn't in sight and I didn't know where to go, as this was a new place he was renting. Plus his cell wasn't working. Got his wife on the life and she misdirected me down a narrow residential road until we got to an undeveloped part. Rather than backing all the way up the road I tried to turn the truck around in some dirt and brush, and ended up backing into what was going to be a street light but was now just a bunch of bundled wires and cardboard. They bent easily enough, but I must've scraped something else, as I put a small hole through the symbol next to the Budget on the truck. Eventually I gave this idea up and just backed up until I found an easier area to turn around in, and Jeff apparently got his cell plugged in and guided us home. Mission accomplished. We were not charged for the truck damage, and aside from the deductible, his bumper-to-bumper warranty should cover the damage to the car.

*Post-script 1 - Jeff and young son Keyvyn had to take me to where I'd left my car, a park'n'ride near the airport, on Tuesday, and the kid wailed for the entire 50 minute ride that he wanted to go home. Good way to start the morning.

*Post-script 2 - I was enlisted to help take the trucks back to Budget on Wednesday. I had to suck it up for that one, as I really never wanted to sit in one of those trucks ever again, much less two days later. My hands still hurt from the white knuckle driving for three days. But, I figured, it had to be done, and it was such a short trip compared to all we'd been through, plus the trucks were empty. Aside from arriving after Budget was closed and having a pretty tiny area to drop off the trucks, it wasn't bad. Oh, and then I had to help him put his bed together, which had fallen apart in the middle from the kids jumping on it and separating the wood supports. But it all got done and of course I've banked a big favor with these guys if I ever need it in the future. Plus, I'm really glad they're back.